AHhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....2/3 of the papers are completed...None of which i am satisfied with...HOW COME ALL THE PAPERS I CANNOT FINISH???Issit me? My brain? Or the lecturer? Arhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!! 'Siansation'! (Bang the wall)
Yup, have emailed the lecturer about the second concern i have, but it is hard to be convinced...cuz i still believe my tutor is too nice a person...The intricacies of life...can they ever be ironed out? hm.........
Anyway, these few days is oso v v hot! Today i almost fell prey to it! Almost fell sick lor! (poor me...) So everyone must take care ok...Drink lotsa water...and eat lotsa fruits!!!
Oh ya..to NIAO FANG: YES! Must definitely go out (though in the end i know you both will 'niao' me....when did i ever become so crude???)
Today, at least i feel more on form. I told myself to let go of things which i can't really do anything about. No point feeling so sad over it...(not as thou they will hang me up on the lamp post if i do terribly 'well', or that i can hang pig's head at their door step...so it is lose-lose to feel sad...)
Blogging is becoming more of a habit...i blog cuz i feel like...
Anyway, somethings to share: Today, or rather, yesterday (since is is past 12), i emailed my lecturer if it was possible to have 2 answer to an mcq question). That was his reply:
'What can I say? You are correct. (You are in fact the second student to catch this flaw, although you provided the more exhaustive proof.) The passage is ambiguous, hence the question is. I will now have to decide whether it is fairer to eliminate the question entirely from the count or to accept both C & D. The latter, I think, is the less unsatisfactory option. ' in less than half an hour! Efficient sia...
But... later he added
'I have reconsidered and am actually inclined to say that only one answer is technically defensible. But the difficulty of the question is such that I feel I have to accept two answers now. Please feel free to consult me after the exam period, if you are curious to pursue the point. '
Er..consult him? Maybe i would, maybe i wouldn't...It all depends...Maybe if i happen to meet him and his family when i go out, i will ask him questions, and he will retaliate less! Ahahahahaha...(oops...i didn't say anything..whatever happened? Must be the evil genie at work!)
This is the first time i hear that answers are disputable in an exam..actually i still have another concern, but i guess, that will be for tom! cya!
I have discovered that writing is my form of escapism towards the stress which i face. It helps to release the tension between my heart and brain...My heart tells me to 'bo chap' the text...The brain says..NO!! Cannot...if like that..'sure die sure die!!'
I have discovered that my previous blog post generated some concern over my state of well being...I would like to assure all my friends out there that i am OK!! Well alive and kicking! (i learn kickboxing ok...and slipped half the lessons..oops =p)
Today, i also realised something...That i cannot control and restrain...when it comes to handling my emotions...i conveniently rained words onto the dear...who was soaked to the skin and left wondering what happened afterall....
I have come to realise that the human mind is so complex, that even i myself don't know what i am thinking of sometimes. An article which i have read for my Management and Oraganisation module gave me another idea..another way to look at the human mind...Fishing the Big Assumption in a bid to find out the underlying Competing Commitment...sounds cheem? actually it just means...finding out the particular reason why certain people behave in certain ways though they do not really mean harm...I am still trying to find out the reason behind the apparent behaviour when i talk to people while i am frustrated...(i reckon it can be quite drastic)...But probably, it all boils down to 'eh...u tink too much lah...'. Who knows?
The title of my blog sounds crap right? I owe such 'creativity' to the exams, which has never failed to impress me with the tension that is sure to give me weird dreams, lotsa tension, and make me teether on my heels...
Talking about weird dreams, let me just share a few weird ones...1)Hm..dreamt that NUS was many layers underground...Had to take a lift, which was just a narrow platform, to the mini 'supermarket' (dunno what i was doing there also ???) and to enter, had to play computer games...(*_*')2) Sometime ago, dreamt that my grandmother went to school with me...wat??! Grandma?!?! And sch!?!? For wat reasons i also forgot...3)Next, i dreamt that my cap without considering ny genes module was 2.55 (:'(...that time they were still marking genes...so they realised part of the results to us first...)..Must be my poor brain cells...overworked...so they decided to retaliate...
Just a day ago i felt supremely depressed...Had actually prepared a sad entry...but just as i wanted to post, i dc-ed...Could be a blessing in disguise. One: I don't sadden people, and two: It is now peacefully tucked into some obscure corner amongst the heaps of documents i have :)
Today, did mcqs till i siao siao...BLUR..but that is not the point. The point is, my mama, yeah, my mama :) brought dinner for me to eat at the study room i was mugging at in the community centre near my house. Sooo touched...Have chicken, porridge, promfret!!! SO yummy! A sumptuous meals with warmth and love carefully packed inside! Thx mama! The bestest mama!! (hide and smile...=p)
I am going to lament one more time...SCHOOLS ARE DISGUSTING!!! They try to choke the poor and innocent students with information, trying so hard to test the turgidity of our brain cells...(*_*')
Anyway, i had a good mind to update my dear bloggy yesterday...too bad, i didn't. But i forgot the reason...Well, these few day i have been trying hard to coax my thaw my frozen brain cells, to absorb the information i am supposed to. So tiring! 8 hours of sleep is barely enough! I end up snoring in the study room....(Lucky they never throw erasers at me...Phew!)
Oh anyway, just 2 days before, i felt that i was a lucky girl. I have family who care about me, have good friends, like my di yi Joanna, the fairy god brother...and not to forget, my deer, who is so concerned abt me! The warmth accmulated in the heart...i guess it is a blessed feeling. I feel contented :)
So hm...i think i should go to sleep now. To people who are terribly stressed, let me give u all a BIG BIG *HUGZ*! Hang in there! We are all in this mess together! But we will eventually reach the end of the tunnel! Life does not revolve about studying!!! Have faith ;) [Eh...am i ok? These words actually came out from my mouth.."???" hahaha ]
I can't think of any decent name for my blog sia...
Today really depressing leh...sigh...Whose fault do you think it is? I tell u lah...CS1101C!!!!!!!!!
&(*^*&*^&@^
Really sad lo...Couldn't compile, couldn't complete...the only could is: sit there and laugh *_*"
Looks like i should farely horrendously...(10%?) Anyway, i shouldn't dwell too much on it...
Would just like to thank the people who tried to cheer me up...and got suans from me instead..Paisei ah....couldn't control...was just feeling really upset with myself...Hm..but i believe i will be ok in no time to come :)
Everyone please take good care of urself...
I can't seem to prevent me from being attacked by bouts of depression. Not as thou i asked for it. Why? Much as i try to be cheerful, i feel thoroughly drained. Mentally and physically derailed. Sometimes, i really hope that i won't be affected by the external stimulus. Unfortunately, man are emotive creatures. Sometimes, i just wish that i was a recluse. Ears wide shut. Or maybe try not to be too affected by what is happening around me. Maybe the stress level will dercease? But will that ever happen? Wishful thinking.
The birthday cake...Yummy Chocolate!!!
Making a wish...making a BIG BIG wish..wahahahaha
I had a tremendously enjoyable day, full of surprises, pleasant surprises...(oh....so touched!!!!!!!) On Thurs, which is one day before my birthday, my dear initially wanted to stun me by arriving at my house at 12 a.m. to pass me my birthday gift..heeheee....but i twarfted his plan, by staying back to do my genes essay and waited for him to send me back home....too bad...but he still managed to surprise me, by taking out his gift for me...at 12 plus...Thx dear!!! :)
Oh, my class also celebrated my birthday on tues...5th april..I got a slice of mango cake, and a cute and adorable frowning pooh as gift..sooooooooooooooooo adorable..................*hugz hugz*
Friends sent me well wishes too..sms, msn, mms! Thx to all of em...Jon, jedison, yiwei, peishan,the freak, ping ping, baichi, erin, ying ying, joanna..actually still got more....but i er...can't remember...paisei paisei...but i love ya all!!!
So on the actual birthday date itself, actually my dear wanted to bring me out for some mee sua...(u know, which chinese like to have on their birthday...) But too bad, the stall folded...*_*"
After that, we headed back school to hand in my genes essay..and met one weird guy who liked to talk to himself...at first i thought he was talking to me and turned back..so paisei...then he took the same path as me and Joanna (we handed our essays together, at a remote place!!) I had a terrible time trying to control my laughter when i was thinking about the weird guy... :S
And then i amused myself by looking at the deer playing maple story...then i realised i was late for my lect!!! Er...we were just outside the venue hours before it started. Can still manage to be late...Guess people will have to take their heads off us man!!
Okie, here comes the fun part...Actually, the deer wanted to wait for me to go for my lecture and sneak out to buy my birthday cake for me...wahahaha...but out of laziness, i decided to leave my sch bag with him...So in the end, he had to run after i went for lect, with 2 bags, 2 water bottle and some plastic bags...hahaha...and he only had an hour to do it! (Because i would look for him during my lecture break an hour later....lalalala..good excerise! =p) So off he went, and scrambled back with 2 bags..blabla...at the SAME table...(But one thing i realised when i went to find him during break...he only did one tutorial qnestion during my absence...I was like ??? that's unlike him...but didn't think much...so NOW i know why....)
Okie..After lecture, Joanna went home..I went to his car (Which was parked at a different location but unfortunatley i was Blur and did not realise ...*_*") Then i waited for him to drive..But after he stood so long at the car boot, i felt that he must be up to something..and indeed he was! Suddenly, he scarmbled to me side..."Dear...Happy Birthday!" (And sang me a birthday song...a bit off tune though..=p) Can you imagine? Birthday in the car, admist soft, yellow lighting, accompanied by the bright and warm candle flame...Oh goodness...i feel so so loved! What a marvel! :) )
Later, we went to watch "The pacifier"..So funny! Male nanny...who was some military personnal...anyway, had a good laugh...and an enjoyable time!
This year quite a surprise...One of the best years i had!
Swatch from my Dear, Pooh from My class, Soft toy and bracelet from my orientation group AMORE, Bag from Jia Hui and Jia Lin (dear's sisters..same age as i am...) , and a boy-girl hand phone accessory from my sister (one for each of us... =p..Thx voy!) One more gift in anticipation from Xiao li..wahahahahaha...I M A LUCKY GIRL...
Would like to extend my thanks to all the people out there who have made a memorable 20th birthday possible...Friends and Deer and family!!!I am wildly happy! hahahahaha..What a lucky girl!!! Must count my blessings...!
I wish that joy, love, hope and laughter be bestowed on everyone on every day of their life!
Add on: The baichi wishes to inform all that i could have such an enjoyable birthday because he took a lot of time and effort in restraining himself from suanning me....
Anyway, today i had my MNO presentation...Actually, not quite what i thought it wud be....I was er...quite nervous, but for someone who has had experience in self expression and done countless presentations, this is not what i expected!!...heeheee(dun even noe to face e wall and relfect or laugh...)...a few blunders here and there...for e.g. cj == edm? I dunno...but that was what i did..mix them up...*_* (Very paisei....)
Anyway i thought we had good team spirit...And mossy the monkey was good at talking!!! Kudos..to the monkey (mutants i mean...which mossy belongs to... =p)
Frankly, i think i will miss the MNO team...i think they are all very nice people...(me included =p) The crazy times spent talking about crazy things, the maddness in staying till 3 to discuss project...the pranks we play on each other (but i always get suanned the most lo..*_*...&(*&!(*#^&*^*&^#!)
Yesterday was the last lab of the semester! Good bye!! To evil lab practicals...Hello..to..the evil Practical Exam!!! I am but a helpless innocent girl...Just like a piece of steak, waiting to be sent to the dinner table of the devil...to be consumed...till...nthg is to be left...in that moment, i shalll have vanished into the thin air...(How sinister...)
Yeah, went to eat at old airport road yesterday....tang yuan..yummy! Sweet! Delicious! Wow!!! Wahahahaha..er...can i have one more?
Ai ya...i feel that these days, it gets tougher and tougher to be crappy and lame and be funny at the same time...sometimes...i really say things for no particular reason...i oso dunno how come..MUST be exams that are nearing! I wish the people who plan the exams NITEMARES!!! Can't take it lo...sigh...NUS makes me feel like i live in the matrix...study to live up to people's expectations, crazy schdules, competition...What did i do to deserve all these? Anyway, there is a difference between the matrix and reality...In the matrix, you can believe you can fly and really fly...You try to do this in reality- Either u end up in hospital or you go to haven... o_O
How cruel is reality...sigh sigh sigh...
Okie, shall stop here. Gotta work on my genes essay now...
