Wonder where i got that from? Nah, i did not attend any talks...Nor workshops on Gifted Teens...neither of these...Ironically, i learnt it while driving...from an instructor who doesn't mince his words...
I don't know if what he said was for the good or for the better...But i rather believe that i change change for the better...It all started from lane change, when i was to create opportunities, not wait for them to happen...'not wait for them to happen...'...be proactive...'8 demerit points for this mistake'...and 'u wan to change lane is ur own business, not the others...do u expect them to slow down for u? If they do, that is bonus...'These statements sounds logical and easy to follow right? Strangely, it didn't appear to be so common sense while i was having my driving lesson...at the end of everything, he made me a little inspired, tired and challenged...
In life, we sometimes forget that we create our own destiny...I feel, maybe it is somewhat related to my previous entry, or perhaps, overlap in some ideas...For me, the mundane life and prolong stress has washed away my innocence, it has made me forget that opportunities should be created...THings in LiFe don't happen by chance...it just doesn't...no one is responsible for ur own self being...you are...Be it happiness, sorrow, if you can find someone to pull u out, be blessed...it is a bonus...i am happy that i have found the person =) If not, i think it will come, meanwhile, you will somewhat be balanced, through family, very good friends, etc...You must have faith in that...I wonder why i say this today...oh well, i know i have put forth an one sided opinion...but as long as i am concerned, i am glad to learn to count my blessings and gain more perspectives of life...
Before i begin, i have to thank edmund for the countless number of times he has given to me to ponder upon many things, with new directives and initaitives...Yes, this entry is inspired by him...
'... have you ever woken up, not knowing if your memories are recollections of actual past events, or a figment of your imagination/dreams? The lines of reality blurred like a drawing smudged...' Ed, 20/8.
.......
Who actually has the time to think about why we are doing what we are doing? And the courage to break free from doing what we don't want to do?
The awakening of our drunken souls-- reaching for the lost minds led wanderless by our pace of living, which has left us to forget our purpose and existence. Humans are supposed to have a powerful mind, aren't we? Yet we are weak to even dictate the kind of life we really want...powerless to go against the norm (conformation of societal norms), which ironically, was initially set for the betterment of our lives...
Till today, many may be programmed to be like a mindless robot which asks no questions...no questions as to what we live for..Great, we have been
promoted, from being a 'who' to a 'which'...and mind you, robots are getting intelligient by the day...
Why do we often go with the tide? Are we scared of the seemingly insurmountable orthodox set upon the individuals by our society? Or did we try, but each time we end up failing?
Why..is living supposed to be as such? It seems, i must admit, i fall prey too...to the societal stress...A mind game...or something more?
Just nice. Listening to the songs by Emi Fujita...they give me a special kinda feeling...whenever i listen to her voice, she seems to be telling a fairytale, plunges me back into my wonderland. Her soothing voice, accompanied by the background music, gives an amazing calming effect at times too...
Wonder why i am up so early? Well, suddenly at 5 plus this morning, my sis woke me up, and told me "can you please bring me a plastic bag? i wanna puke"...+_+"" What a way to wake up...i clumpsily walked to the kitchen, got her a plastic bag, and went to the toilet...well, to pee, but oso made use of this as an excuse to get myself out of the bedroom...for i have a phobia of looking at people vomit...This phobia is still there, deeply entrenched and inherent in me...I wonder if i can ever get out of this rubbish feeling...Numerous times i have tried to coax myself, that this is just part of nature, u expel what your body don't wan..but, i still can't get over it...It is so hard and so so hard..Makes me feel useless as well....
After my toilet trip, i walked to my dad's bedroom...he asked my what i was doing there, so i told him what happened...he went to ask if my sis was ok, and i got my dad's bed to myself...(the thought of the smell also made me scared to walk back to the bed which i share with my sis..)
Strange to say, after this, i tried to, but couldn't get to sleep. As i haven't done any homework (was assigned tutorials at the very first lect i have... *(()@#$)*)@$Q), i decided to get out of bed and just do some productive work...at 5 plus...(of course, i got weird looks from my father also...)
So off i started, reading some text, then looking at the tutorials and fretting over some questions, making assumptions...duh...so much for the un-awaken brain...Till now, then i decided to write something on my dear bloggy....
I wanted to look for some meaningful quotes, but chanced upon this poem by T.S. Eilot..quite meaningful i think, and here it is:
The Eagle soars in the summit of Heaven,
The Hunter with his dogs pursues his circuit.
o perpetual revolution of configured stars,
o perpetual recurrence of determined seasons,
o world of spring and autumn, birth and dying,
The endless cycle of idea and action,
Endless invention, endless experiment,
Brings knowledge of motion, but not of stillness;
Knowledge of speech, but not of silence;
Knowledge of words, and ignorance of the Word.
All our knowledge brings us nearer to our ignorance,
All our ignorance brings us nearer to death,
But nearness to death no nearer to GOD.
Where is the Life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
The cycles of Heaven in twenty centuries,
Bring us farther from GOD and nearer to the Dust.
TS Eliot
