ThE cOw AnD i

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Early in the morning 8 o'clock...sitting on the table doing nothing...

Just nice. Listening to the songs by Emi Fujita...they give me a special kinda feeling...whenever i listen to her voice, she seems to be telling a fairytale, plunges me back into my wonderland. Her soothing voice, accompanied by the background music, gives an amazing calming effect at times too...

Wonder why i am up so early? Well, suddenly at 5 plus this morning, my sis woke me up, and told me "can you please bring me a plastic bag? i wanna puke"...+_+"" What a way to wake up...i clumpsily walked to the kitchen, got her a plastic bag, and went to the toilet...well, to pee, but oso made use of this as an excuse to get myself out of the bedroom...for i have a phobia of looking at people vomit...This phobia is still there, deeply entrenched and inherent in me...I wonder if i can ever get out of this rubbish feeling...Numerous times i have tried to coax myself, that this is just part of nature, u expel what your body don't wan..but, i still can't get over it...It is so hard and so so hard..Makes me feel useless as well....

After my toilet trip, i walked to my dad's bedroom...he asked my what i was doing there, so i told him what happened...he went to ask if my sis was ok, and i got my dad's bed to myself...(the thought of the smell also made me scared to walk back to the bed which i share with my sis..)

Strange to say, after this, i tried to, but couldn't get to sleep. As i haven't done any homework (was assigned tutorials at the very first lect i have... *(()@#$)*)@$Q), i decided to get out of bed and just do some productive work...at 5 plus...(of course, i got weird looks from my father also...)

So off i started, reading some text, then looking at the tutorials and fretting over some questions, making assumptions...duh...so much for the un-awaken brain...Till now, then i decided to write something on my dear bloggy....

I wanted to look for some meaningful quotes, but chanced upon this poem by T.S. Eilot..quite meaningful i think, and here it is:

The Eagle soars in the summit of Heaven,
The Hunter with his dogs pursues his circuit.
o perpetual revolution of configured stars,
o perpetual recurrence of determined seasons,
o world of spring and autumn, birth and dying,
The endless cycle of idea and action,
Endless invention, endless experiment,
Brings knowledge of motion, but not of stillness;
Knowledge of speech, but not of silence;
Knowledge of words, and ignorance of the Word.
All our knowledge brings us nearer to our ignorance,
All our ignorance brings us nearer to death,
But nearness to death no nearer to GOD.
Where is the Life we have lost in living?
Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge?
Where is the knowledge we have lost in information?
The cycles of Heaven in twenty centuries,
Bring us farther from GOD and nearer to the Dust.

TS Eliot

by xiaojia at 8:10 AM |