ThE cOw AnD i

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Ouch! That hurts...

What hurts? Why does it hurt? It hurts to be maligned by ur loved ones...esp...when u feel that the trust is no longer there...In order to prepare for the unrelenting syllabus set by the merciless planner of the modules, I go to the Community Centre everyday...Sometimes from 12 till 10, sometimes from 1 to 10. Today, my mum fetched my from the Community Centre (late mah)...Den along the way, as we were walking, she suddenly told me "ur heart is no longer in..(ur studies)"...

I dunno..maybe as other people look at it, there is nothing to kick up a fuss about. But as far as i was concerned, i felt shattered. The person whom i so much respect, whom i thought was so understanding...had to say that to me...cuz i was already attached...why? but why? U know, the feeling hurts...It hurts juz like the words were some powerful sword that pierces through the heart...leaving you to bleed there in agony...I didn't know what to say...but i felt very very sad...What appeared to me was that 'So, in ur opinion, i haf just been fooling around..Is that right?'; 'i tot u would understand, but even u don't...i had always thought that you were someone so close and so understanding....' I don't know how to put it...Seems like one sentence of hers, is enough to wash away all the efforts i have put in..All that i have done, is, in her eyes, nothing but gone in the winds as the ash...it has all come to nought...That is how i feel...

Now that i have written it down, and complained about it, it feels better. Put it down and go on...Don't worry...will bury it in the ground lest someone kicks and trips over it..(no $$ to pay for hospitalisation fees...)

by xiaojia at 12:45 PM |