ThE cOw AnD i

Sunday, September 11, 2005

The sanctity of marriage...

Let me just blog briefly before i get to my work...Look at my title...Why? Today, i went for my cousin's wedding...Held at Amara hotel, it was something to be very simple, no fuss, no Chinese traditional 'rites' for marriages...No ROM, just a private solemniser and their mothers acted as their witnesses...I thought it did not appear as serious nor as sacred as i had imagined it to be...My mum confirmed this with me...The marriage vows were exchanged scurriedly, which made me feel that sincerity was lasking in the atmosphere...The whole environment did manage to make me feel touched nevertheless....

My cousin, a woman whom i seldom talked to...Today, i saw her transform into a ravishing beauty, all smiles, and talked a lot...Partly due to her makeup, partly due to her having all smiles...Little wonder people say that a woman looks the best on her day of marriage...Even as someone who do not know her well, i feel happy for her that she has found her happiness...

As i listened to the marriage vows, it was as though the words hit me on my raw nerve...This is how a marriage vow goes: (Government of Sinagapore. 2004.
http://fcd.ecitizen.gov.sg/CourtshipNMarriage/ExchangeYourVows/Resources/
WeddingPreparation/#vows)

Registrar's Address
Before you are joined in matrimony, it is my duty to remind you of the solemn and binding character of the vows you are about to make. Marriage according to law is the union of one man and one woman, voluntarily entered into for life, to the exclusion of all others.Do I understand that you __________________ and you ________________ are here of your own free will for the purpose of becoming man and wife?
Couple answer together: Yes

To Bridegroom
Will you, __________________ take this woman ______________ to be your wedded wife, to live together in the legal estate of matrimony? Will you love her, comfort her, honour and keep her in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to her, so long as you both shall live?Answer: I will

To Bride
Will you, _________________ take this man _________________ to be your wedded husband, to live together in the legal estate of matrimony? Will you love him, comfort him, honour and keep him in sickness and in health and forsaking all others, be faithful to him, so long as you both shall live?Answer: I will

How many people will remember the meaning behind these words as they grow deeper into their union...What happens to the sanctity of marriage? Rumour has it that couples will usually take each other for granted when they get married...this is when trouble boils, and coupled with adaptation problems, if such delicate situations cannot be well handled, the marriage may eventually hit the rocks...and end up in divorce...Sometimes, i see marriages, i see divorces...easy come easy go...it appears to me for some people...Some people has had it tougher, hanging on to their marriage for as long as they can...

Perhaps more people should take time to review their marriage vows and think through the whole meaning of marriage? This way, people will learn to appreciate each other more?

Having said that though, there are many who have survived the test of marriage and emerged yet stronger...Marriage takes time to nuture, blossom, just as a relationship does...No discounts...(Seems common sense, yet sometimes, people can forget even the simplest things...)
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In the end, it is the wish of every parent to see their child happily married and passing on the baton to the next generation...Whoever said that marriage involves only the union of the man and woman?

Having said all of that, i sincerely hope that things end well for everyone...an ideal assumption...As for me, i will certainly put effort into my marrigae to make it work...and count my blessings for each meaningful day that passes...(oh well, still a long long way to go...and no, i am not thinking of marriage anytime now...it was just a reflection on one of the many aspects of life...which i had comments for...)

by xiaojia at 4:00 PM |